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Re: Operation Oatmeal(Score: 1) by kat_vamp(catvamp@msn.com) on Apr 13, 2002 - 07:05 PM | OH GOODIE! I get to rant about parenting too! :-)
I was the mother of three rugrats by the time I was 22. Being *so well raised* by my *normal, upstanding, Christian* parents (I left home when I was 13) I had plenty of skills (learned all from the streets) for raising kids. (Can you feel the sarcasm dripping?) I lost the first child (and went mad) and gave the other two up, for their own sakes (I simply was NOT capable of being a parent at that time.) So I know alot about how NOT to parent. I got spayed and said "Never Again." (As I played with my crayolas and wept.)
Since that time I have learned even more about how NOT to raise a child. I was a nanny for 10 years (the ol' mommy hormones were too strong for me to stay away.) I have seen some serious abuse and neglect of children (and reported what I could when I could.) I have done everything I can to learn parenting skills. What they teach you in those classes...*pftttttt* PLEASE. The best I learned is that kid's is peoples, and deserve the same respect as others; also, I got some really great teaching techniques! I do a great job at being a step-mommy to my GF's brats!
Now comes the BITCH.
I've studied childcare, and been a nanny FOREVER. I get with a chick who has three kids...kewl! NOT. What I did not expect was the mess I stumbled into. These children had been abused and neglected (by both parents) for 13 years before I came along and said :STOP! Well, stopping wasn't easy for her, but she did it! It took 2 years together for her to go into classes and therapy and get it...but she did it! I am sooooo proud of her!
Still, now we are dealing with 3 very messed up children. All of them have emotional/psychological disorders. Before I entered the picture, my partner had already lost her eldest son to CPS for his starting fires and going balistic. She's the one who called the cops on him. Good choice, now he's in a psych-facility for teens and doing great. He's still paranoid, and has behavioral/emotional problems, but at least he's in the right place to get help. I love him!
Enter child #2...a 7-year-old with a disorder called "reactive attachment disorder." It's nothing like it sounds...beleive me! She was totally incorrigible. I tried so hard to be her friend...but to her EVERYONE was the "enemy." Without going into it too deep, let me just say it got really bad, and my partner decided to let her live with the child's aunt...she's doing great now, too.
Child #3 is our developmentally disabled 11-year-old. She is our Angel! But I tell you what, it's still really hard. She's 11, and has the capacity of 18 months to about 3 years. She goes to school, and has been rapidly progressing. However, I must say that her tantrums are HELL.
I knew when I couldn't handle my children anymore. My partner got to the point where she knew she needed help, too. CPS is the Devil. But why can't people realize what their behavior is, and how their problems affect those around them (especially the impressionable ones?) What we have had to do in order to give our children the best we could has caused deep pain to us...a pain that never goes away. But the CHILDREN ALWAYS COME FIRST!!! I am constantly reminding my partner...I am constantly teaching her as well. She created the mess, I tell her, now she's the one who has to clean it up.
I wish more people would clean up their acts. I wish there were less children on the street (that is the roughest life for a kid in the world...but sometimes it's better than home can be.) I tell you what...CPS doesn't help a damned bit. They tear the families apart under the guise of "helping" the parents and kids. That causes trauma for both! I see our girls go through it each time they talk to their brother over the phone...one just cries and can't even talk, the other is apathetic and has no true emotions at all. You guess which is which...I'll bet you're wrong.
I don't know...I'm rambling now. I just hate the state this world is in, and I hate their so-called "solutions" to it as well. I wish someone would blow the whole damned thing up so we could start over! Okay...just blow up the government and all it's subsidiaries, and all the rednecks and other fuck-ups, then I'll be happy!
*Notes from a Gothic Mommy.*
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