|
|
Re: I love him, I love him not, I love him, I love him not...
by Schizo (Aranea@spidersdance.com)
on Jul 30, 2004 - 02:46 AM
(User info | Send a Message)
|
I agree with you and I disagree with you.
It is true that when one person hurts another, they generally have some underlying, unfulfilled need that they think will be taken care of by the hurt they deal out. And it is true, sometimes, that ignoring the hurt given you, and focusing on the need it represents, can end up defusing the situation, and ending the cycle of pain.
However, this is not always true. Sometimes, people get so used to fulfilling their needs by causing pain, that they no longer desire to do it another way. They begin to actually enjoy hurting others for it's own sake. They don't want help.
I know, because I tried. I have been dealing with a very hurtful person for several years now. I tried to give her a chance to let me below the visciousness, down to the need, but she only saw it as an opportunity to try to hurt me more. Luckily, I foresaw that possibility, and guarded against it.
These people, the ones who hurt for the purpose of causing pain, may have needs, but these needs will not be met until they learn to stop hurting others. Hurting people needs to cease to be fun for them before they will consider finding another way to get what they need.
It's sad, but it's true.
|
|
|