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Re: Re: You can pick your friends...
by Monolycus on Aug 13, 2002 - 10:01 PM
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I'm the sanest one in my family by just about any yardstick anyone cares to use. That's neither here nor there.
Since we are discussing your situation, let me tell you from first hand experience that the pain of being rejected by family does not go away just because you do. I spent years and years trying to escape their baleful influence and hurting very deeply because they couldn't care less where I ran away to. I desperately wanted my parents to embrace me and wasted many years hoping beyond hope that they would. The last time that I saw my mother before they put her into the ground she didn't want me to be there and asked me to leave (I am sure she was tired from all the visitors and doctors/nurses, but it still hurt me and continues to hurt me). I wasted years of my life hoping that my family would accept me, or that we would even have an honest conversation... and now that can never happen. If I were entirely honest with myself, I would have recognised that it was never going to happen and spared myself a great many years of anguish. I recommend that you enjoy any snippets of lucidity that your family might incidentally give you and not expect anything more than that. Enjoy and cherish whatever love they might offer you and accept that that is all there is to be had. You can not force the situation to change in your favour, do not delude yourself into thinking that you can or you will be setting yourself up for a greater heartache. I am,
~Monolycus.
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