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Re: Re: They Don't Understand Meeeee!
by Meranda_Jade (Meranda@mymind.com)
on Aug 13, 2002 - 01:43 PM
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Thanks, Cash. Respect and a little attention is all I have ever really wanted...
I had such a crazy upbringing in the first place, you would think they'd understand a little more, or at least be more accepting of differences or change. It's not like we've ever been stable. They have many prejudices as well... unreasonably so. My sister insists that she'd rather have her girls date black guys than other girls, implying that, while one is worse, the other is bad as well. I said I didn't care what my kids dated as long as they're happy. They look down on all of my opinions, the way I parent my kids, if they knew about the way my marriage works, they'd really lose it, and my deepest darkest secret is that I like girls as well as boys, their potential reaction to that one goes without saying... they think I'm neurotic for disliking processed foods especially things with artificial colors... I wouldn't even care if they didn't like the way I do things, I'm just wanting acceptance. Without constant nagging at me to change and be more "normal". Sure, I'm a bit weird, march to a different drum and all that, but they have their ways that are just as strange to me, and I don't ask them to change. I'm happy for my sister in whatever she does, her life would be very boring to me, though. The way we were raised was a very unstable environment, ever-changing, sometimes rough, and the way she dealt with it was to go as normal as she possibly could. They way I dealt with it was as a learning experience that gave me the desire for more adventure in my life. My mother is little more than a vegetable at this point, she's drugged to the gills in order to function on a daily basis, but she still harbors prejudices from her upbringing, and therefore will not see reason on the subjects of racism or homophobia. And the concept of open marriage is so alien to them, I'm sure they'd do anything in their power to try to make me give it up. My sister said she can't wait until my boys are old enough to cut their hair... she thinks long hair on little boys is wrong. This time, almost every aspect of my life that they know about had a criticism attatched to it. They think my kids are in some kind of danger because I admitted to having gay friends, and I don't teach my kids that it's wrong to be gay! They think gayness is contagious! They won't see anything but their own uneducated opinions... makes me wonder where the hell I came from. It couldn't have been the upbringing... my sister grew up the same way. It was actually probably that I read everything I could get my hands on as often as I could, and thus looked at the world in many different ways. Now, I am who I am... they've been trying to change me and control me for years, and it hasn't worked yet. They ought to just see that it's not going to and accept me for who I am. And thanks for your input... it helps a lot. And you have my respect as well... :-)
Sorry for ranting again, I guess they just bring out the worst in me...
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